EVERYONE is on Facebook, why aren't you?

This semester I'm teaching a course entitled Communicating with Social Technologies. Yes folks, it's a course about Facebook, MySpace, Twitter, and so on. You know I'm a pop culture diva, so this falls in line with my, ahem, research interests.

I mean, if the Muppets can be on Facebook, why can't you?


see more funny facebook stuff!

How parents mess up their kids...

We're not talking balloon-boy level exploitation here, but just goofy little cultural things that make kids realize not everyone does things the same way. Usually, however, it's an embarrassing incident that reveals to them that their family is just weird.

What my parents did to us:
My parents used to get a craving for Chinese food every now and then, and considering that the kids were pretty little, they thought we wouldn't like to eat anything exotic. Dad had a solution. When he went to pick up the order, he'd get the Chinese food place to include some French fries. French fries not being the restaurant's specialty, and long before the days of fast food, these particular French fries were limp, greasy and barely edible. Certainly not on a par with what we have now come to recognize as French fries. Anyway, we kids ate them and found that if you had enough ketchup, they were fine. Growing up, every time we had Chinese food we also got these Chinese French fries. :-)

It seemed quite normal to me until I went to university. I got a rude awakening on the French fry front when out for the first time with a bunch of friends and we went to a Chinese restaurant. I naturally asked about French fries, and was thoroughly ridiculed. I'm sure they thought I was nuts. No, not nuts. Just twisted by family culture, lol.

What I've done to my kids:
I used to watch the Rocky and Bullwinkle Show on television when I came home from school. I liked the show, especially Mr. Peabody and Sherman, and Fractured Fairytales. I don't quite know how it came about, but one of the episodes, I don't remember which, included the pairing of the gride and the broom. That stuck in my brain -- I like the symmetry of it. Gride and Broom. When my kids were little, instead of calling that thing you scoop up sweepings with a dust pan, I always called it a gride. They are adults now, and know that a dust pan is a dust pan, but maybe it's a gride too. :-)

I can't wait until my kids mention "gride and broom" to someone else and get razzed for it, as I did with the Chinese fries. Somehow I am sure that will amuse me.

Troubleshooting Part II

Sometimes there are things that aren't precisely technical which still may cause problems. Here's the story of one unusual bug and its solution.

When I worked at a software company they wanted to get golf shirts for the R&D department. So, I guess because they thought I had nothing else to do, i.e., I wasn't a programmer, I got tasked with sourcing the shirts and getting the order.

I had a measly budget but through some clever research and negotiating was able to order 60 very nice shirts with a custom logo. Everyone was pleased with the shirts, and we planned a department photo day where everyone would wear their shirts (original, I know) and get a photo taken.

However, all the people who had ordered Size L shirts were complaining. The sleeves were scratchy. When they wore the shirts, there was something on the sleeve cuffs that was scratchy to the skin and caused red abrasions.

I tested my own shirt and found the same thing. (I'm not in the habit of wearing golf shirts.) I called the supplier and he had no clue about the cause. He did offer to take all the Large shirts back and replace them, but it would take some time and we wouldn't have the shirts by picture day.

I did a little more research, on the web, and could find nothing about scratchy shirt cuffs. Then I had an idea. From quilting and working with other fabrics I thought that maybe there was something the fabric had been treated with that was causing the problem.

Usually washing will remove such a thing, but to ensure the navy and white colors didn't run together, the shirt had to be washed in cold water, which is not the best for dissolving fabric treatments. But it was worth a try, so I tested my own shirt by washing it and putting it in the dryer.

The shirt came out nice and clean with still with the scratchy cuffs. I didn't want to risk washing it in hot water and wrecking the shirt, for 2 reasons -- I would not have been able to return it if damaged (though under the circumstances I probably could have made the case that it was a defective product anyway), and the risk of it shrinking and thus becoming unwearable was also an issue.

But I had an idea. I set up the ironing board and put the sleeve between two sheets of paper towel. I then ironed the sleeve cuff to melt whatever was left in the fabric. (I would like to have put it under a microscope to see if there was something there, but I didn't have one handy. But it was a thought!)

Whatever came off the sleeve cuffs would be transferred to the paper towels and the sleeves should be fine. It worked! We had a simple solution -- just iron the two cuffs between paper towels on a hot enough setting and they were fine.

Next day I called the supplier and gave him the solution. He told me that a whole bunch of shirts had been returned for this same issue from various customers, and they had all come from the same factory in India.

Having the solution to the scratchy cuffs was going to save him thousands of dollars in returned goods from this shipment of shirts. I think he was so gobsmacked by the simplicity of the solution he forgot to thank me.

Even though we had a solution, however, I still didn't know how the shirts had come to have these scratchy cuffs, and in bulk, too. I was somewhat content to have fixed "the shirt bug" but was not completely satisfied until I knew the cause. As you know, if the cause is known, prevention is the next step, and always much better than repair. Ounce, pound, all that.

I was retelling this story in my tech comm class some months later, and one of my students had the answer. He had previously worked in his family's garment business. He had never heard of scratchy cuffs before, but he did know that for knit shirts like golf shirts, the banding on the cuffs is often made on large looms where they knit 1- or 2-inch wide strips in parallel, and the edges are joined with glue. That's why ironing worked -- it melted the glue.

This budget factory had not done the additional step of removing the glue from the finished bindings when they were separated. I thought this was worthy of sharing with my original supplier so called him to explain it. And he didn't care one bit. They had gone with a different factory somewhere else, even though it was more expensive, and just passed the cost along to the customer.

Just goes to show you, that if there's a bug, I can find it and figure out how to get around it. :-)

Troubleshooting Part I

I am somewhat of a crank about usability and user problem solving. And because I deal with technology day in and day out, I pride myself on being able to deal with technical problems of one sort or another.

Here's a story about one of my trouble-shooting adventures. None of this is classified any longer, btw. It's 35 years later, and the technology long obsolete. My job doesn't even exist anymore.

When I was in the military and worked in telecommunications, we had a tape relay centre -- the communications centre of the very large base in Germany -- that used banks of typing reperforators to punch Murray code onto either chad or chadless tape. (Anyone else out there know Murray code? I can still read most of it.) I worked shifts 24/7 but our techs had cushier jobs and only worked one of 2 8-hour shifts -- either 8 to 4 or 4 to midnight, with no weekends.

The midnighters and weekenders were on their own as far as trying to deal with any technical issues. Usually we just swapped out the offending gear, left a tag on it with a description of the problem, and put it on the techs' bench for dealing with next day.

This particular time, I was on a cycle of a lot of midnights. We had a good crew, and even though we were often busy, there were times of the night when it was quiet enough that we could play cards and just chew the fat. So it was a pretty good time, all things considered. They gave me no sympathy though in this particular struggle with some machinery.

About halfway through the shift on a Friday night, so around 4 a.m., this one particular reperforator started to act up intermittently. It was skipping spots when punching the tape so we'd get garbled messages. I hauled it out of the cabinet, swapped in a spare, and left a detailed description of the problem on the ticket, along with a sample of the garbled tape.

Monday night, I went on duty to find a note from the tech that said he couldn't find anything wrong with the machine, so he swapped it back in. By virtue of working 12-hour mids and weekend shifts, we got 3 days off so the next time I went in to work it was Friday midnight again. Sure enough, half way through the shift, the same machine started to act up again. They're numbered so it was easy to tell. Again, I swapped it out, politely asked the techs to look at it again, and carried on.

Monday night shift, same thing. Big NFF (No Fault Found) on the tag, machine swapped back in, get a clue lady. You know, the old "women aren't technical" accusation. I complained to my team, who advised me to shrug it off -- always good advice. Drat if the next Friday night didn't the same thing happen! This time I got my entire team to look at the machine and verify it was garbling messages. It's always good to have witnesses. The senior NCO signed off on the ticket and we swapped out the machine as usual.

Monday night, a curt message from the tech Sr. NCO: "What are you people on???? Quit wasting our techs' time with machines that are perfectly fine. Next time, I'll charge you." (meaning a disciplinary charge) True, there had always been a bit of a rivalry between operators and technicians, and my team in particular was notorious for playing jokes on people. (This is how one's reputation as a jokester can work against you. Who, ME??? Nah...) But they were tired of having to keep looking at this stupid machine.

Fourth Friday night in a row -- same machine broke down. We debated, should we report it or fix it ourselves permanently with a hammer? I voted for the hammer but was overruled. So we decided to call out the duty tech to come NOW and see the machine for himself. He rolled in about an hour later, not in a good mood, but unable to disobey an order from a superior. :-) He tested the machine, and sure enough, got garbled tape. HAH!! Okay, I see it, I know it's bad, I'll fix it Monday.

Monday night, there was no word at all. We sort of forgot about it, until we came in the NEXT Monday night and found a note -- "Machine permanently FUBAR (F***ed up beyond all repair). Overheats when online too long. Works perfectly after cooldown." After working all week, the thing would get overheated by 4 a.m.-ish on Saturday, start breaking up the code, and causing problems. After sitting for 2 days waiting for the tech to look at it, it had cooled down sufficiently to be back in good working order. Sheesh.

I was vindicated, but never did receive an apology from the techs who disbelieved me. None of us had seen such behaviour from a machine before, but it wasn't to be the last. "Overheating" as a cause was tucked away in my mental inventory in case I ever ran into such a problem again.

It's a really good feeling, though, to be able to solve technical mysteries.

Book Discovery -- The User Illusion

I found this book through tracking down a quotation:

The universe began when nothing saw itself in the mirror.

Yoiks!! Think about that one for a while and your brain will hurt. Tor Nørretranders writes about consciousness in a scientific and philosophical way. I like the marriage of those two disciplines. Thinking about these concepts takes you into the territory of physics as well as the realm of logic, and even the psychology of the human mind.

As you can imagine, with my interest in technical communication, when I found the original quote was from a book entitled The User Illusion, I had to follow that up. In a way, it is related to how we think about systems from a user's point of view.

Go buy the book, but beforehand read the full book review, which concludes with this quote from Nørretranders:

We have to face the fact we are far more than we believe ourselves to be; that we have far more resources than we perceive; that we leave our mark on more of the world than we notice.

Awesome!

Thoughts to Live By

Some of these have been co-opted by Courage Wolf, but they are not original. I have been saying most of them for years.

1. Life getting tough is a sign that God is afraid of your progress.
2. Seize the day, by the throat.
3. Fall down seven times, stand up eight.
4. Don't start fights, finish them instead.
5. Reach the finish line -- then keep going.
6. Pain is temporary -- scars are sexy.
7. If you never give up, you never lose.
8. Stand up. Fight. Repeat.
9. Don't make a scene, make a mess.
10. If you fall on your face, laugh at the ground.
11. If you're going through hell, don't stop, just keep going.
12. Better to burn out than rust out.
13. If life's a bitch -- make it your bitch.
14. It's better to take a lot of standing eight counts, than get knocked out.
    
15. Stare into the abyss -- and when it stares back, make it blink first.
16. Can't believe in yourself? Then believe in me, who believes in you.

Today's Note from the Universe

I get these every day. It's nice to have "the universe" telling me how wonderful I am. It's nicer to have other people do that too, but in the absence of such, this works too. Here's the Christmas Eve version:

If it's not yet obvious to you, the real reason for this, and all seasons, is you, Beth.

A more perfect child of the Universe has never lived. Until now, only celebrations cloaked in myth and mystery could hint at your divine heritage and sacred destiny. You are life's prayer of becoming and its answer: the first light at the dawn of eternity, drawn from the ether, so that I might know my own depth, discover new heights, and revel in seas of blessed emotion.

A pioneer into illusion, an adventurer into the unknown, and a lifter of veils. Courageous, heroic, and exalted by legions in the unseen.

To give beyond reason, to care beyond hope, to love without limit; to reach, to stretch, and dream, in spite of your fears.

These are the hallmarks of divinity - traits of the immortal - your badges of honor. May you wear them with a pride as great as the immeasurable pride we feel for you.

Your light has illuminated darkened paths, your gaze has lifted broken spirits, and already your life has changed the course of history.

This is the time of year we celebrate Beth Agnew.
Bowing before Greatness,

The Universe

p.s. Supercoolhappylovething, you are, Beth.

Living every day as best I can to make that all true. Merry Christmas to all (dare I say Merry Bethmas?), and I wish you every blessing in the New Year. May all your dreams come true!

Well, that's one way of looking at it

There's nothing like an end of year wrap-up of major stories. This one is courtesy of our friends over at The Onion which is one of the more clever sites reporting on issues that you never knew we had.

If the Christmas season is stressing you out, or you're just overwhelmed by the fact that another year is about to come to a close, have a read through some of the material on TheOnion.com. It will have you smiling, laughing, perhaps even sharing.

We may need a little Christmas, but we need a little absurdity more.

Fatal Similarity

FASHION OF THE DECADE - A rider holds up her yellow Livestrong bracelet during a rally July 26, 2006, in Newton, Iowa. Introduced by Nike in May 2004, the yellow silicone band sells for $1 to raise money for the Lance Armstrong Foundation, which raises awareness and funds for cancer research. While similar bracelets have been adopted by other charities, some hospitals allegedly have cut the Livestrong wristbands from patients' wrists because of their resemblance to yellow 'do not resuscitate' bands used by some medical facilities.

File under: It seemed like a good idea at the time.

Thought for the Day

"The world is a dangerous place to live,
not because of all the people who are evil,
but because of the people
who don't do anything about it." - Albert Einstein

Miscellanea

Random thoughts:

• I said to RJ: "I'm thinking that I should have more friends my age. Maybe I'll join the Legion." And he replied: "Foreign?"


• I used to have a cat that would wait until I had just fallen asleep, then drop a marble down the hardwood staircase. Klunk, klunk, klunk. Woke me up every time. ... That's how I lost my marbles.


• I often find it expedient to appoint myself as Karma's assistant. Let me help you get the Karma you deserve.
  
  
• Klingons do not procrastinate. It is a "tactical delay".


• A short while ago I reunited with some friends from college. Marie said, "Before I left, I made a prediction that Nancy would have a cell phone, with the bank on speed-dial, and Beth will have a Blackberry strapped to her hip." Haven't seen Marie in years, yet she was 2 for 2 correct. How well she knows us!


• A friend who worked as an EMT in a remote northern community once told me that fur is great for stopping bleeding. I hope I never have to use that knowledge.


• That same friend said he once attended to an accident victim whose down jacket had ripped open during the crash. The down feathers had scattered, blown about in the wind, and landed on the victim, sticking to him wherever he was covered in blood. As my friend loaded him into the ambulance, he thought it looked like his patient had been tarred and feathered. Weird. Just bled a lot but was not seriously injured.


• Here's my opinion of Management's imposed offer for our new contract. You can dress it up, but...

Remembrance Day 2009

November 11, at 11:00 a.m., we take a few moments to reflect on the soldiers who have given their lives in service to their country. As you know, I served in the Canadian Armed Forces. My tour of duty included postings to Europe and the Middle East, as well as out west. My son Devon served in the Canadian Forces, and was deployed to Afghanistan with his unit while in 3 PPCLI. Because I was also married to a serving soldier, the military played a huge part in much of my adult life.

As I mentioned in a previous post, Remembrance Day is a hard one for me. I have friends in the US military who are in Afghanistan, Iraq, and Korea at the moment. I will always feel a connection to those in uniform; I am familiar with the pressures they are under, and I empathize with the problems doing one's duty can often bring about. I experienced some of them myself.

Most of all, I often think of what it really means to volunteer to serve in the Armed Forces. In Canada, we are not at war with anyone, but are involved in peacekeeping -- and increasingly, peaceMAKING -- activities abroad. While building much-needed roads and schools and hospitals, our soldiers risk attack from insurgents, death or injury from land mines and IEDs, and as the British recently experienced, even assault by those who could benefit most from military assistance.

We mourn the loss of each one of our servicemen and servicewomen.

What is rarely publicized are the peacetime deaths of military personnel who are lost in training accidents, vehicle accidents, airplane crashes, suicides, murders, and terminal illnesses. I have lost friends and comrades in all of these ways during my years of service.

For me, Remembrance Day is not only about remembering the sacrifices of all our military personnel in all of the wars, but also about remembering those in uniform who died doing their duty in whatever capacity they were assigned, and remembering all those who have served regardless of time or place.

Today, I remember Claire, Rod, Wayne, Dave S., Jane, Marty, Jerry, Les, Doug C., Alex, Andy, David W., Ron, John A., Derek, Myrna, Don, Laurent, Mike, Dennis, Bud, Greg P., Mick, David G., Pierre, Sybille, Art, Charlie, Marcel, Loretta, Donnie, Ken, Doug W., George L., Andre, Joe G., Geoff, Doug A., Gord K., Val, and others...

Je me souviens. I remember. Then. Now. Forever.

Convocation

I attended Seneca's convocation ceremony today to celebrate our 2009 graduates, including our Tech Comm grad certificate students. It was great seeing them, and the computer studies students I teach in EAC397 and other courses as well. There is the usual pomp and circumstance one would expect from a college graduation ceremony. It's an energizing day.

One of the things we do at convocation is confer Honorary Degrees on notable personages who merit such recognition. This year's recipients were brothers Craig and Mark Kielburger. You may know about them from their work with Free the Children, a foundation that seeks to educate children and keep them from slavery and sweat shops. This foundation is based on the premise that every child deserves a happy, healthy and safe childhood.

The origins of this foundation came from then-12-year-old Craig`s outrage on reading about a young Pakistani boy named Iqbal Masih who was forced into bonded labour in a carpet factory at the age of four, became an international figurehead for the fight against child labor by 10 years of age, and was brutally murdered in 1995 when he was 12.

Research into child labour, then sharing his findings with schoolmates, family and friends led Craig and his older brother Mark into social activism and contact with many public figures as they fought for rights for children.

Craig`s address to our convocation ceremony was uplifting and meaningful. He spoke about the time that he and his brother worked alongside Mother Theresa in Calcutta some years ago. He shared some advice she had given them. She took their hands into her rough ones ``like sandpaper from her years of service`` and said to them, ``If you cannot do great things, do small things with great love.``

My sons RJ and Devon are about the same age as Craig Kielburger. They didn`t grow up in Thornhill, as he did; they grew up in Fernwood and on armed forces bases, and attended inner city schools. Their parents didn`t have the money to send them to Harvard or to Thailand and India. Their parents barely had the money to keep them housed and clothed most of the time.

Their father overcame an abusive childhood to excel in his profession and rise to the top rank in his specialty, throughout the years influencing many young soldiers and providing an example of leadership and personal triumph. He continues to demonstrate his personal courage day to day, and offers his time to counsel addicts in making positive life changes.

Their mother is known for little except encouraging and inspiring her students, often sharing a kind word and a smile with a beleaguered store clerk, coaching others to get jobs and sort out their lives, leading laughter sessions, and reaching out through her writing and other activities to those who need to be reminded that they are unique, capable, and so very precious.

It was not our branch of the Agnew family that produced David Agnew, formerly head of UNICEF and currently the President of Seneca College.

Still, my Agnews are doing okay. I am not in the least disappointed that neither of my sons has yet achieved the international recognition that Craig Keilburger has deserved. When I think of my sons, I notice their average day-to-day activities just diligently going to work, getting there on time, and giving full value to their employer. They are honest, loyal friends to those who know them. They are compassionate, honourable men who treat women with respect, all people with kindness, and animals with mercy. They each have a good sense of fair play, good sportsmanship, and generosity. They act and speak with integrity. They clearly know right from wrong, and operate on principles of justice, equality, and respect. They can be counted on when times get tough, and they don't take themselves too seriously.

All in all, RJ and Devon may not do the great things that some others do. But I know that the small things they do, they do with great love. I couldn't ask for more, and of that I am very proud indeed.

Cracking ourselves up...

This is how my son RJ and I crack ourselves up from time to time. It usually starts with an innocent conversation...

So the other night we were just shooting the breeze during dinner. He said something about factoids, and I said I have so much interesting but largely useless knowledge in my head, that it is just full of factoids.

For example, I said, they did a study on sheep that found that because they spend all their lives in a flock, they don't ever like to be alone. And they found that if you have to separate a sheep from the flock, it gets very nervous, so one way to ease its fright is to put a large mirror beside it. That way, the sheep sees another sheep in the mirror and thinks it's not alone. I said, the same thing works for Alpacas (which I owned a few years ago). So if you have to transport a single alpaca, to a show, or when it's sold perhaps, if you put a large mirror in the truck or trailer, it calms down because it thinks it has company.

And what works even better is two mirrors so that the alpacas sees a multitude of alpacas on either side of him and feels he's in a herd again.

RJ said, you know, sheep can actually recognize each other by their faces. There was a Youtube video of where they put a Halloween mask on a sheep and all the other sheep in the flock ran away from it because they didn't know who it was.

I said, well, if sheep can recognize faces, wouldn't they look in the mirror and recognize their own face and think, Hey, that's me?

RJ said, Not in a Halloween mask.

And THAT is when we both started laughing.

See, now, don't you wish you could come to dinner at my house? :-)

Blast from the Past

Just came across this and thought I'd resurrect it and share it with you. It was posted to a forum in response to comments about the standards of writing we're seeing on web pages and in the popular media. I wrote it in March 2008:

I think it's very much a "you get what you pay for"
situation. Better pay = better writing. As long as
the market continues to accept poor quality
writing, purveyors will provide it at the lowest
possible cost.

We're already victims of the sleeper effect --
you see enough bad writing, you unconsciously
start to write that way yourself and your tolerance
for what is "bad" lowers, unless you maintain
constant vigilance. There are few gatekeepers
anymore. Those print editors who tormented
writers until the prose was perfect aren't around
anymore. Publishers who refused to sacrifice
quality for revenue have been eliminated by their
corporate masters in favor of increased sales.

The gap between the truly literate, meaning those
who have studied literature enough to know
what good writing looks like, and the illiterate is
widening. We're seeing this in our students whose
text messaging style permeates their academic essays.

I choose to believe that good writing and good
communication will always prevail, though fewer
will be able to recognize it.

The "sleeper effect" I'm talking about is the persistence and persuasiveness of something we see even when we give the source no credibility whatsoever. I've even found myself doing it -- typing "they're" instead of "their", and "your" or "it's" instead of the more correct "you're" and "its" in their proper context.

As a professional writer -- and a nit-picky one at that -- I know full well the difference in when to use "they're" versus "their", and so on. But because I've seen the wrong one used so very often, it has lodged in my brain, and unless I'm truly paying attention when I write, I'm just as likely to use the incorrect homonym.

Well, at least I haven't sunk to using "ur" yet...

Best Lecturer?

Finally some news to report! I have just been nominated for TVO's 2010 Best Lecturer Competition. Woot! This is fun and very rewarding because it means my students think my classes are at least somewhat interesting and worthy of sharing with the rest of the world.

I like to think that I make the crushingly boring topic of Technical Communication compelling, at least for our Tech Comm students. Of course, if you were a technical communicator, you'd see, as I do, the many exciting facets of this broad profession. Techwriters as a group are pretty interesting people. We have often had variegated careers and because the nature of our work requires the ability to grasp other topics quickly, most technical communicators are sharp, well-read, and able to discuss thoughtfully and cogently on a variety of subjects. Our profession is about relationships as well as business, information, technology and communication, so we cover the gamut of things that are important to people day to day.

The competition requires submission of video from one or more of my classes. It won't be the first time a camera has captured me doing what I do, and just about any class could make compelling viewing, even if you don't have a background in the subject matter. I don't say that out of ego, but as a practical reality -- if you don't have something that engages your students each class, how do you expect them to show up, pay attention, and learn anything? It's Teaching 101, really.

Mind you, there are some aspects of technical communication that are a LOT more fun than others. And coupled with my quirky sense of humour, you can imagine -- those of you who know me -- how some of those go...design, usability, dealing with SMEs, overcoming communication challenges and just making life easier for the user are all fodder for my own particular take.

Get me talking about the Segway and you'll see!

Boundaries

I was talking to a young friend yesterday about relationships. In my position as a college professor, and as an, um, experienced woman who is also a mother and a life coach, I am often asked to share some hard-won wisdom with my friends. The crux of our conversation yesterday was boundaries.

Boundaries are important in any relationship. Boundaries represent the lines each one of us draws to communicate to others what things are acceptable, and what things are not. Mushy or vague boundaries, or the absence of them altogether, spells disaster for any relationship. There are NO relationships where boundaries are unnecessary.

Respecting someone else's boundaries shows care and concern for them.
Disrespecting boundaries, continually crossing the lines that have been drawn, shows contempt and belies any affection or love one might profess.

Relaxing your own boundaries, dropping them completely, or ignoring when they have been crossed takes away your personal power, and leaves you open to being treated in disrespectful fashion by others.

Boundaries can be major: "No drinking alcohol" or minor: "Breaking the spines of our shared paperback books drives me crazy!"

Some examples of boundaries:

• I will not date someone who smokes.
• I'm not picking up after you; you have to keep your own room neat.
• It is not acceptable for you to hit me, EVER.
• It's rude to talk on your cell phone during dinner.
  
• I expect you to call me and let me know if you are going to be late or won't be showing up.
• I don't like it when you call me "monkey-face".

Crossing of boundaries should result in a talking point. That means, if someone has stepped across the boundary you have drawn, you both need to talk about it.

Mistakes happen. In relationships, they usually happen because the parties involved have never discussed that particular situation or established boundaries around that issue. "You never said you had a problem with me watching the Sunday afternoon football game every week, why are you mad at me?" The crossed boundary? Sunday afternoons are together time for us as a couple.

Boundaries represent values and expected behaviors. Most relationships develop in a way that makes a frank discussion of boundaries an artificial occurrence, something that has to be planned and carried out. However, this formal approach is not necessary. It may not occur to you that you have a boundary in a certain area until you see evidence of it being breached. You react by feeling disrespected or by getting angry. That's the time to talk to the offending party and clear the air.

A helpful approach is to say something like "When you didn't call me to tell me you were working late, I felt worried. I would like you to call me whenever you are going to be later than I expect." Notice the colored words. When you structure your conversation as suggested, you keep the focus neutral, neither accusing nor defending. You state the person's behavior that you didn't like, and state how you felt when that happened. Follow that with the behavior you would like to see instead.

The other person may counter that with words that seek to explain the breach and clarify the boundary. "I'm sorry I didn't call. I wasn't aware of time passing and that client meeting was very important. Sometimes when I'm in afternoon meetings they run long and I can't get away to call you. What if I call you as soon as I get out of the meeting to tell you I'm on my way home?"

This opens the door for negotiating the boundary and making it clear to both sides where it is and what it represents. We don't have time to go into the additional meanings behind boundaries and breaches; that may be the subject of a post some other time. But suffice to say that it is fair for each person in a relationship to establish boundaries around things that are important to them.

Too many boundaries, or boundaries you disagree with, indicate potential trouble spots in the relationship and should be given a serious look.

You can make boundaries for yourself as well: I don't shop on Sundays. In this way, they delineate your own behavior, standards and values. The old saying "Good fences make good neighbours" had to do with physical boundaries around property lines and how they contributed to relationships between people living close together. Intangible, behavioural boundaries are just as good for contributing to good interpersonal relationships.

It is said that we teach people how to treat us. One of the ways we do that is by making our boundaries clear to those with whom we interact.

What are your boundaries?

Why am I here?

They are the age-old questions that each of us asks at some point as we grow up:

• Who am I?
• Why am I here?

I tend to believe that the first question is answered by the second. If we know why we are where we are, we can usually figure out what qualities we have as individuals that have brought us to that location at that point in time.

Deep philosophical stuff for a blog that is usually lighter in tone.

This pondering has been prompted by my introductory remarks to our first class of TCN701 -- The Technical Communicator this year. Seneca's 2009/2010 academic year started today, and I'm energized by the new class. They represent not only people from all types of backgrounds but people with all sorts of talents, abilities and experiences. By way of letting them know who they're getting as an instructor (me), I tell them a little about what brought me to Seneca and why I think I have something to offer them.

It behooves each of us to question -- from time to time, not continuously -- who and what we are all about. Often given to introspection, I perhaps question more than most. Of course, asking the question is not what matters; answering it is.

I told the class today that teaching at Seneca is my dream job, and it is. I get to share what I know with up and coming practitioners in my field, and help them navigate the rushing waters that flow around choosing a career direction. On behalf of Seneca I get to reach out into the broader community and network with employers, industry experts, people in related fields and industries, and the general public. And I still get enough free time to enjoy my own company and recreate as I feel inclined.

Why am I here?
Because the universe chose me to stand in this exact spot and do what it is I do.

Tally ho!

I Knew That!

Some time ago, during executive training at the Niagara Institute, I took the Meyers-Briggs evaluation of personality type. My results are: ENFJ: (Extraversion, iNtuition, Feeling, Judgment)!

ENFJ
You are warm, empathetic, responsive, and responsible. You are highly attuned to the emotions, needs, and motivations of others. You find potential in everyone, and want to help others fulfill their potential. You may act as a catalyst for individual and group growth. You are loyal, and are responsive to praise and criticism. You are sociable, facilitate others in a group, and provide inspiring leadership. Famous people with your same ENFJ personality include: Abraham Lincoln, Ronald Reagan, Dick Van Dyke, Diane Sawyer, Peyton Manning, Pete Sampras, Johnny Depp, and Dr. Martin Luther King, Jr.

Get Smarter - Play Video Games!

Guy Kawasaki quoted Dr. Richard Restak on ten tips for improving your brain. See http://adjix.com/35yg. I like the first one, myself:

Take up video-gaming. Action video games improve eye-hand coordination, improve spatial visualization skills, and increase the number of things that you can visually attend to simultaneously.

In my view, video games, especially the immersive MMORPGs like World of Warcraft, should be standard in every seniors facility. Not only do they provide the brain stimulation as mentioned by Restak above, but they are opportunities for social interaction, personal challenge and achievement, and provide a rich virtual environment in which to play and learn.

Players in WoW and other similar games interact with others of all ages, cultures and nationalities through the course of the game. They are continually given problems to solve (quests) and confronted with situations that require collaboration (dungeons) or research (what gear should I choose?). These activities tie into #2 and #8 in the article quoted above.

We didn't really need excuses to play video games, but it's good to have expert support for this fun activity. And if you can't visit great-grandma as often as you like, at least make sure her subscription to WoW is up to date.

Heroic Effort

Here's something I wrote to help a young man get a job at a very prominent gaming company:

HERO CLASS: Customer Service Rep

• Increased strength, stamina, agility and intellect
• Arsenal of powers and spells including inspired trouble-shooting, with greater effect against undead technologies such as unliving CPUs, routers and modems
• Equipped with unique weapons of mitigation, designed to cleave through service issues, pacify targets, and deal high levels of satisfaction per second (SPS)
• Skilled in dual-wielding monitors for greater visibility of issues
• Core ability to summon and control electrical energy over wireless and land-based lines
• Innate ability to communicate effectively with all factions, races, classes and levels
• Intuitive Presence: invoked whenever the CSR encounters mind-numbing issues or immobilizing hardware/software effects – grants the ability to quickly discern solutions and bring swift resolution.

Yeah, it was successful in getting him some attention. He's been working there for a few weeks now. Without his own abilities, he never would have landed this dream job. This blurb simply helped float his resume to the top of the pile of thousands of competitors.

And I wouldn't be surprised if the company copied it and passed it around, or hung it on the wall.

Memorial Day

This is Memorial Day for the US. A similar day for us in Canada is November 11, Remembrance Day, always a hard day for me. Because many of the people I've been talking to in the last few weeks, both for social and business, have been in the US, Memorial Day is at the front of my mind. So today I choose to remember all those I care about who are currently serving in the military. I'm reaching out to each of them to remind them of my love and support.

Perhaps no one knows better what military life is like than someone who has gone through it. While the public sees a portion of it, and our families -- if they want to -- see a little more, only those on the inside know what it's really all about. I have to say that the time I served was one of the best experiences of my life. That's a net gain, because there were parts of it that were simply horrible. But overall, taken as a body of experience and knowledge increase, it was a period of time that I would not trade for anything. I learned lessons about people, organizations, leadership, other countries, cultures, and the world that I could never have learned in any other way. Mostly, I learned a lot about myself, and that was an education that money just can't buy.

I excelled in certain areas of the military, and was abysmally poor at others, but it was a defining period in my life where I learned my limits, and how far I could go in wildly surpassing those limits. I learned that I could take just about anything, and survive just about anything -- and what was needed from within myself to do that. I learned that I had more strength inside me than anyone would have believed -- even me. I learned that there is always a solution to every problem -- sometimes not the solution we would like, but there is one. I learned not to sweat the small stuff, and how to look at big things to realize that they really are just small stuff. I learned that people matter more than anything else, and how we treat other people is the only real goal of our existence.

Sometimes I forget those lessons. I get caught up in day to day life among people whose depth of character resembles a toddler's plastic wading pool, one that is only half full at that. I get distracted by the minutiae that others use to structure their time and their lives, and I get roped into trying to help those who don't want to be helped. I get sidetracked believing that most of the people I encounter day to day have the same level of experience as I do, and when I finally realize that they barely know what life is all about, I feel a sense of loss on their behalf. There is so much more that they don't know!! And still I hope, I believe, and I try -- as futile as that sometimes is. Because that's what we learn in the military -- we learn to deal with all kinds of people to get the job done. We learn to care about our comrades. And we learn to never, NEVER give up.

Thinking of never giving up, my thoughts turn to my serving friends, and I admire them for their courage, their compassion, their persistence in the face of crass stupidity, overwhelming selfishness, and sometimes even collective insanity. I think of my friends in the military and I am grateful to know them, because they are pieces of this crazy quilt that is my life -- integral pieces that remind me that I do have a purpose, and that purpose is to touch the lives of others and to give them whatever I can give. Because, like in the military, we are all in this together, and no one can do it alone.

I think about my friends in uniform, and I send up a prayer to whatever force in the universe handles such things, and I ask for protection and love to always be with those I care about.
To my many friends in the military, wherever you are, be well on this Memorial Day and always. You have a place in my heart where you are always safe, and very much loved.

Where did the Time Go?

I cannot believe it has been almost two years since I updated this blog! Life certainly has a way of derailing you when you had planned to do other things. A lot has happened in those two years, some of which I'll speak about as I catch up.

Some good. Some bad. Some great! Some utterly devastating.

So my life is a lot like yours then.

Beyond just the passage of time in those two years has been the immense personal growth I've experienced. I'd like to share some of that with you as we go along. Remember, this blog is not just so you can see what I'm up to (as long as I reveal it here!) but what I'm thinking and feeling about it as it unfolds. Never at a loss for an opinion, and freely willing to share it even if no one asks for it, I may occasionally have something valuable for you to take away.

They say that it is worthwhile to learn from your own experience; it is even more worthwhile to learn from the experiences of others. Let's continue to do both.

And to summarize the past two years -- truly, there were multiple projects, always a new idea, and never a dull moment!

Day 31 30DC - Now What?

Whew! It's over! Or it will be very shortly. Making sure that all participants get every possible in order to qualify for the grand prize trip to Australia, Ed and Co. have determined that the official deadline is midnight Hawaii time.

I think it's so the goddess Kummonayewantmymunni can bless the last efforts of everyone who has been diligently working the plan, mining their niches, and promoting their sites.

My grand total, as of this writing, is $46.45 which I think is pretty fair for what constitutes only a few days of my sites being in operation. Of course, there's a whole MONTH of work behind all that.

The question is, now what? I have tons of work to do for the upcoming semester and a few things happening in my life as well. I want to keep going, using the new skills I've learned. And I know the value of momentum, that forward motion that helps you continue moving in the right direction. It's a lot harder to get started again after a stop. The next few days will dictate how I proceed. Here's hoping that I will have the time and energy to add this to my routine and keep working on my sites. The promise of additional $$ is there; I just have to keep them up to date or at least fresh enough for a respectable showing in the search engines.

In the meantime, I'm taking a bit of a break! Blogging about the challenge has been fun, but I don't want to succumb to the tyranny of the daily blog. When it becomes a grind, and a job, it's no longer fun.

Stay tuned. I am committed to "always a new idea, never a dull moment", and will report back on that shortly.

Day 30 30DC - SO Tempting!

I am REALLY tempted to haul out one of the other niches I've discovered and put up Site #3. I've got the process down pat -- I think -- and things are working. Neither of the niches so far are the oil wells I thought they could be, but it is early yet. Some continued drilling is obviously necessary.

Knowing that, however, it is still tempting to throw a few more irons into the fire. After all, the gospel according to my friend Robert Allen is to have multiple streams of income. If one or two sites are starting to bear fruit, then why not have a few more?

In practical terms, I cannot maintain that many sites. Not at the moment. And they're not generating enough income yet that I can justify hiring someone to help with the maintenance.

But it is a great idea, and I'll let it incubate a little longer...

Day 29 30DC - Site #2 Rings In!

I am more than thrilled to report that I have now made some money from the second niche, the one that was put on the back burner when I made the choice of which one to launch first. With a few spare moments, I managed to get Site #2 up and running, posted and ranked.

It has now reciprocated with a small sale that nets me some profit. (Although not a lot if you consider the amount of time I've spent on it, but still...)

So that reinforces for me that the process does indeed work, and more importantly, that **I** can work it. That makes all the difference.

It's fine watching someone else do these activities and make their $$ on the internet, but until you master the process yourself, you don't really become converted to it. Nice to know that what I did with Site #1 has been replicated with Site #2 and it too can generate income for me.

Day 28 30DC - Winding Down in a Way

With a new semester starting shortly, and the Challenge coming to an end, I definitely need to look at my workload and perhaps start to wind down. I don't want to. Now that I've built up some momentum and started a successful site (or 2) I want to keep going.

But reality is quickly descending. I have more responsibilities this semester, with new courses and plenty of challenges in the academic sector not just on the internet. So I'm going to have to look at how I can keep working on my sites while not neglecting any of my students. In fact, the students are the priority so it will be the other way around -- how to best serve my students while still being able to dabble in the internet marketing.

Now THAT's a challenge!

Day 27 30DC - Not Just a Fluke

There have been two more sales on my site, so this new niche is working out nicely. As with most internet marketers, I'm being close-mouthed about the niches and key phrases I am using. This is a competitive business and the waters are full of sharks. Especially the kind of sharks who prefer to get something easy than do the work themselves.

As I said yesterday, it IS work. I have been swamped this weekend but still managed to update my content a little. That daily attention is what is necessary to keep the sites lively and interesting.

But at this point, four days days from the end of the Challenge, I am pleased that I've been able to make those first few dollars.

Now, it's just "rinse and repeat".

Day 26 30DC - No Blips Today

Can't realistically expect every day to be a money maker, but that is the ultimate goal. There were no $$ drops today. :-(

As long as I keep up the momentum, though, I am sure that there will be additional sales. The key is to maintain the work on the sites and the niches, and keep the content fresh. That will keep them being crawled and ranked by the search engines and therefore easily accessible to people who want to buy.

Remember, it's easy to sell someone something if it provides a solution to their problem. They will only know it's their solution when they come across your site. That's why having a top ranking gives you a greater chance in snagging the buyers.

Of course it's work! Like most money-making activities.

Day 25 30DC - Eureka!

I no sooner posted my new site, completed my social media postings, and checked my rankings in Google and voila! My first $10.00!! So now my name goes into the draw for the trip to Australia. Yay!

To be specific, it was a $24.95 item sale price of which I get 60%, which is $14.97. So I've hit the goal and can now relax. Whew! Did I say "relax"? Not a chance! The point is to keep doing what I've been doing, and keep following the instructions until the challenge ends. Sort of like taking all of the antibiotics your doctor prescribes. When there is a specific route to follow, don't go off track unless you are absolutely sure where you are going. Good advice any time, but especially useful when the goal is to achieve something that very few people have managed to do.

You might think that there are scores of people making money on the internet, thanks to all the spam of which you are aware. Unfortunately, those are just people TRYING, often unsuccessfully, to make money. Most of them are spending much more than they are making, and annoying people in the process.

That's why Ed & Co.'s 30 Day Challenge is so valuable. Not only does it teach correct principles that avoid spam, but it is possible for anyone who follows the instructions to achieve a successful result.

I've just proved it! Thanks, Ed!